Christmas without the merry.

Jon and I had a wonderful meal with my parents, short in duration because of the monkey on our back (when we arrived and when the load was due the next day in PHX). However, today is Christmas Eve. I was forced to endure many minutes of very bad Christmas music played over the bluetooth while waiting on hold. We were supposed to pick up produce in Yuma. We have a list of items. The shipper states no it is less. Now we wait for someone to email someone and get confirmation before we depart. Two plus hours still waiting. Paula, Jean and Matthew home and possibly even Charlie when it comes to Christmas dinner. Jesse in Chicago and Christopher living at a neighbors. Yes I know the reason for the season, the reminder of the birth of our Savior. Grateful for the season and the blessings throughout the year, but that does not bring merry. That does not bring personal cheer. Yes I know there are many who will do with so much less than me. But is it wrong to feel sad?

Observed great colors in the sunset tonight. Need to buy a new camera to share the beauty God shares with me.

I've been everywhere

Not really; however, the student has now completed all requirements to move forward. BUT Stevens is not ready for the student to move forward. They close OT2 for two weeks, so even though he should be back on the yard on Monday, he is to remain out in the field for two more weeks. I am attempting to get him home to Columbia before I take a run for the west coast to spend a day at home.

Made a wrong turn while in Boston, it was "fun" to return to our route to get out of town. Went across an interesting bridge while downtown. Had to make a potty break run around midnight (I will blame the Chinese food) came back to the truck and it was snowing. Luckily it did not snow very long since we had 70 miles to go this morning before we picked up in Londonderry,NH. Now on the road again.

I was bad

Thought we would be heading out quickly; however, they sent us to the Dallas yard. It was partially a bookkeeping mistake on their behalf; but, when I went to compliance, I discovered I made an error, again. So we are shut down on the Dallas yard for one day to resume work tomorrow. Side note: I get to teach a class to the students in the Grad class about my error and how to avoid it. That is making the punishment fit the crime. New person in charge of compliance is a very nice person. She works hard to help you understand what was the error and how to prevent it in the future. Yes I was "suspended" for 1 day. It did not feel like a personal attack rather just consequences. Had time to show Jon around on the yard so when he drives his own truck he will understand more.

Hope a load for the NE when we leave!

Stuck

We delivered in Cedar Falls then came the message for the next load: IBP to San Diego. So we wait. It is not supposed to be ready until 7 AM on the 4th. Jon asked if we could drive to a casino, so we are in the parking lot of Isle Casino in Waterloo,IA. Hopefully he finds something to entertain himself with for a few hours.

Received pay twice this week, one would think I was making real money; however, since it was for two weeks...ouch.

Jon is okay for miles; however, the truck is also supposed to run so many miles or his time on the truck is extended. This is not fair to either one of us. Hope we start driving more quickly!

12/1/09

Did not make it home for Thanksgiving, made it to Las Vegas where we did not get a turkey feast but settled for steak. Jon was kind enough to pay. Paula called the van is being a whole lot more of a problem than planned, BK being held up until we can get $ in, being on the truck does not isolate one from problems. It allows one to brew upon the problem. If the brewing is to long it creates a bitterness for the lack of immediate solution. The isolation in the truck allows the mind to become creative with positive fixes or really play the self pity game.

It is lovely as we drive into Iowa. Hope the morning goes well.

I'll be home...?

Load delivers to CA, but not very close to home. They have lots of business out of CA so they desire everyone to keep moving. If it moves from south to north so I can see family great. Thanksgiving in Las Vegas,NV. At a truck stop. With a trainee. Not to romantic when your anniversary is Friday!

Thin threads

Talked with Jesse today for a little while. We discussed for a few moments the tragic early death of Jonathan. I did not really know the young man; however, Jesse remembers him from the school bus when he was in kindergarten. If only we knew the lives that are touched by our actions.

Instead of spending Thanksgiving with some of the fine citizens of AZ (inmates) I could actually be home, late, but home, before delivering a load further south. I just hope it we weigh over 60000 lbs so the load counts for Jon on his mountains.

St Paul,MN

It has been several days since last post. It has been run like a mad man. We get a load for a short time only to have it taken away because they need a two person team to run the load. So we have been adding up the miles, but being driven crazy at the same time. Jon is a great driver, 12 years on police force certainly help. We have great conversations and sometimes even talk about trucking!

I would like to have thoughtful insight about Chris deciding to move out (forced out in his words), but other than a grieving heart I have none. The haunting prayer of the parent of a wayward child. Coulda woulda shoulda, did I do enough, Lord help direct... It is hard on both parents but so often it seems most on the wife. Thought process and emotions are different. I do not know how to offer words of encouragement or comfort when my own bag is empty.

I was supposed to be home around Thanksgiving. Instead I get to spend Thanksgiving in prison. I thought I had done that before, spending Christmas, Thanksgiving etc. with inmates, but I luck out and get the opportunity once again.

New Student

After aloneness again, at 1:45 PM I am supposed to meet Jonathan Huntley in Council Bluffs,IA. I decided to look up the name in Facebook. One is of a man who is already a truck driver. It will be interesting to see if one of the images is the right one.

Bought some Stonyfield French Vanilla Yogurt at Walmart in Lexington,NE. I have been to Londonderry,NH and brought a load of yogurt to TX. I had not sampled until today. I bought a quart, wish it came in gallons! I like a yogurt with body, not just a liquid sample. This had that plus fantastic texture and flavor. A little more money than some brands, but really really good!

I switched the subscription of a magazine from home delivery to on-line. It was nice to read it for a while tonight. It would really be nice if more would use the same format. I might subscribe to something else.

Tomorrow night off to Walcott,IA: Iowa 80. What a great place.

Push play

Will be traveling the midnight shift for the next two nights; my sleep pattern is all messed up. And then there is depression for lack of better terms. Getting the voices in my head to return to silence, or at least no louder than the sound of the cicada buzzing in my head. My iPod quit working so I will need to plug the computer into the aux port on the stereo in the truck. Several hours of positive input, noise to drown out the voices of depressing self talk.

Did it start when before Halloween while on hold with Stevens I was listening to a very bad rendition of Oh Christmas Tree? No it is my brain unable to find a solution to a problem and then sabotaging the whole experience. Have to spend time preparing iTunes.

New,Old artist

I discovered Michael Bublé (had to paste name to get the ' over the e) of course I am very late to the discovery! Enjoyed the music of Haven't met you yet; however, after I read wiki article, a greater appreciation for his heart was in the two songs Home and Lost. Home written while away from his love on tour in Europe. Lost written when they broke up after many years together. Both are enjoyable for different reasons.

Why do some of us find it so easy to be alone? We have the social grace of a bull in a china shop. Some of us have adult ADD so we work hard to understand how to play the game of life, but we flub up again and again. Dave Ramsey answers the question, "How you doing" with "Better than I deserve." I know I am doing better than I deserve. But it doesn't help answer the questions of life that linger in my mind. God placed me on the earth so in November 2009 the people in Cheshire,CT can have grapes and broccoli? Right!

Getting my eyes off of me and more on Him would be a great place to start answering the why am I here.

"Welcome" to Livermore

The welcome mat is rolled up for trucks in Livermore,CA. They have several businesses that utilize large trucks; however, they do not want you to park over night. Several acres along the freeway are open that would make a great truck stop to make a run to the bay area; however, this is California so NO!

Went to church, walked the mile to Discovery Church,Church of Christ was 3 miles. Minister could have delivered message to Central. Church has been in area since 1953; however, it is dying. People were very friendly, out going; however, they are shrinking. His message was pleading with the sheep, not beating the sheep.

Do I get to see Paula? Go from here to San Jose, then Merced and then...?

Marshall Dillon

Returned to Dodge City for a load of beef. Simply followed instructions to show up in Dodge City, I had to phone Stevens to verify that I was supposed to drop the trailer at National Beef. What a silly use of man power. A grad student just came up to the truck asking about what he was supposed to do. He was given a load from National with a DLD of 10/30, which means he will be stuck here until then. I pray they have not done the same to me since I have not been given a load assignment yet.

Chicken Soup had an article about a lost dog, but really it is about lost people. It is a well written story. Hope the link will work.

Finished reading a book last night, that normally I would read in an hour or two; however, it took several weeks. I loved the message; however, the delivery was fingernails on a chalk board. Now I will need to apply the message. I will need to stomach the book to devour the pearls that are within each chapter. Personally I feel someone has unstrung pearls into a pig pen and it is my job to find them all. Fortunately for me, I worked at a wastewater treatment plant, I have looked for the pearls in less than ideal circumstances before.

Mega church?

Randy discussed the mega church in his blog. A song came to mind: More like you, Jesus more like you... The churches I grew up in, the extreme legalism I was fed, were more Pharisee and Sadducee than Jesus. As I age, I realize the discovery of the Jesus I never knew.

I stated in a written "blog" in the church bulletin, that maybe we needed to dynamite the sign out in front of the building and call it the The Church on Sutter or maybe Church by the River. Are our traditions, now carved in stone, holding others away? Maybe; however, I still feel that Central needs to repent of hurts caused in the past to move to a better future. Knowing our hidden talents is a useful tool. Coming together as one, united in purpose, requires commitment to give an honest look at how we got to where we are now. With so many dead fish in the basket it is beginning to smell bad.

Mr Dunn

In an article of the NY Times about Mr Dunn, a former defense lawyer in death penalty cases, who is now a middle school teacher I saw a great quote: "He quotes Frederick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” I worked the prison system for 12.5 years. I regret that I did not know that quote previously, but I can soundly give it an amen.

Several classrooms had money stolen, so naturally reputation implies the Elston boys. Paula carries the keys on her, she locks every door when not present, etc. but their reputation precedes them. It grieves her to think that maybe one of our children would figure out how to break into so many classrooms and steal the money. She is strongly praying whoever is guilty will be discovered, even if it is one of ours.

Qualcomm acting up on the truck inconsistently; however, I called Road Break down to inform them of the problem. I will be taking the truck to Houston Communication in the morning after my first drop for quick repairs hopefully, since I need to be 51.6 miles on the other side of Houston before 3.

Arrested Development

My trainee jumped ship when we arrived in West Memphis,AR. Life has been stacked against him and he has chosen to remain under the pile. He is a safe driver; however, his heart was not into the many other challenges that come with driving a truck (mainly the time away from family), so he quit. I set my alarm this morning for 5:30 to take a shower, he was already up. I asked if he was going to shower he stated no. When I got back to the truck he informed me of his decision. I spent 1:45 attempting to get him to see a different picture on life. Not to persuade him to be a trucker, but attempting to have him see himself in a different light. But the Mississippi River called him back to his home state.

Jesse challenged Paula and discovered life outside of the minivan. He tried to call my sister to rescue him, but she declined when she discovered why he was where he was. He came back to the building later; however, he still does not know how to surrender to God. I told him to find the song "All to Jesus I Surrender" and read it carefully. Maybe it will give him some insight. Lay face down on the ground and weep for your choices is a good place to start sometimes.

Cheshire,CT

It was hard to believe it has been this long since my last post, sorry. Anyway, Terreal and I are in Cheshire,CT to deliver at 0515 (that would be 0415 our time) some fine produce from California.

My first student on the truck is almost to nice. He is very easy to get along with and will even laugh at my jokes. Most important for me, he is a very safe driver. He has some more polishing to complete his training; however, he is a good driver.

Jesse called today to inform me that he is a free man. All charges were dropped. Our "neighbors" when contacted by the investigator did not wish to make a statement after they were informed they would be required to testify under oath and that false testimony was a felony. I do not know if the decision to remain silent and the information were related. I strongly urged Jesse to not tempt Satan again and to leave Paloma quickly. I pray he follows my advice. Should hear from Charlie this week, he should be getting out of jail by Friday.

Attempting to solve the problem of Matthew and online education. So far we have used my connection and him on the phone. But that cannot continue.

Alarm is set to ring at 0320, so we can start the 4.8 mile drive by 0345 to final. Better get to sleep.

Fairy Godmother

...put them together and what have you got... Today was "graduation" from the training class. During the course of events I discovered that everyday on the training trucks I had been on previously was wrong, plus other violations. When a majority of your learning is from what you were shown and taught, it creates a new mindset to create the correct environment for proper training.

When we finished we were supposed to be ready to leave with our new student. My new truck is not ready and probably will not be ready before Friday. My student luckily is not ready since they had placed him on hold. Hopefully they keep him on hold until Friday. One advantage to them not having everything ready is I may get a 34 hour restart sitting here on the Dallas yard. Of course having just received a paycheck for $7.92 on Monday and then to get my latest paycheck of $-468.12, I do not believe I will be leaving here and eating a large steak dinner. I spoke with another student with 5 years of experience. This is how they conduct business. Can we all say INSANE together?

Can't hear the music

Spent several hours in class this morning, will spend several more tomorrow. Had one instructor that put the whole room to shame very quickly. He was a very powerful speaker and had a great presentation; however, you knew you were dumb. What was embarrassing is it was about the ThermoKing units on our trailer. No one in the room could hold a candle to this man. He was very impressive.

We were up on the hill on the backing yard from 5:30 to 9:45. We had one student in our little area that was very impressive, drove truck for the military. Then in the same group was a student who had zero confidence and almost zero skill. He wanted someone to hold his hand and walk him through the whole experience. It just doesn't work.

Where my truck is sitting, I can see into the bays on the back side of the main shop. One of the night mechanics was on break for a while and he is just dancing the night away. I can't hear the music. I just enjoy the dance show.

I agreed to what!

Arrived at the training room at 7:45, class was at 8AM. Then it was outside for 2 hours, back in time for lunch, then outside from 1 to 5:30. I am used to working many hours per day. I am used to having others determine my bathroom breaks. I just am not used to standing for 6 plus hours in 95 plus temperatures on concrete. I was thankful I had not had a haircut yet, so it is only my face that is sunburnt. Tomorrow's schedule is class from 8AM to 5PM with a lunch break and a visit to the MD for BP and urine testing. Then after dinner, it is up on the hill until about 10PM assisting with new driver training. Tuesday if we passed the MD, we can avoid that hassle; however, it is still 8AM to 10PM. Let us all jump for joy. Right!

Apparently I will not receive a new truck until Wednesday or Thursday. So anytime I am away from my truck, the shop can take it and move it, so I will have the joy of discovery after a 14 hour day. It can be anywhere in the row. The row is 3/4 of a mile long. I will be taking a shower shortly to cool my body down and maybe in the morning also. Stevens has reduced the size of its training staff significantly. There were approximately 30 students in the trainees class this morning. When I went through in July of last year there were 96. With the economy tightening, drivers are not willing to leave what they have to venture into the unknown as quickly.

A gift

I was stuck at a TA since Wednesday waiting for an imaginary load. The fee to park there is supposed to be $13 per day. When I drove away today they only charged me $13. I teased the woman at the gate that my wife would send her a Christmas card.

This morning at around 3:30AM I was awakened to the sound of someone wrapping on my truck. I am thinking great someone has hit my truck/trailer and they are telling me about it. I had the curtain up on my truck so the fact I was dressed in my usual sleeping attire (Adam before the fall), I looked out the window. No it was a "professional" woman attempting to offer her wares. Go away!!! When you have to pay for parking, it is supposed to prevent such encounters.

I hate "surprises." This is not the first trainers class they have conducted at Stevens; however, they do not send out any information ahead of time so one knows what to expect. Tomorrow is on the hill, which means driving for 10 hours. Can we say yeah.

The fun of Dallas

Still waiting outside the gates of the Dallas yard. If I do not receive something today, I will roll to the yard tomorrow. Saw this episode of the new Jay Leno show and thought the "ad" was very funny. Of course I am thankful it wasn't around when I was a child else I would be in Malaysia. It pops up stating something about not playing; however, give it a few moments it will play.

Do the hustle

The trailer crossed the Mexican border; however, the paper work took another hour. By the time everything was done, my 14 hour clock would expire before I made it to McKinney,TX. So park for an 8 hour break, then start driving again. Take a two hour break at the receivers then off to the next point. Swap trailers at the TA in Dallas since the load was continuing on to AL. And then... the silence of the QC was deafening. I am now stuck at the TA in Dallas. It cost $13 a day to park here. Good thing I am made of money! Also this is Dallas so I am not supposed to idle the truck either.

Received phone call from Melody. She was doing well, reading a book and very proud of herself for having read to page 54 all by herself. Unfortunately Charlie will not stop calling her. She does not take the collect call, but still. He has been asked so many times to stop. I do not know what the future holds for Charlie. But he certainly leads the parade in tugging at my heart. Jesse of course plays the horn.

Learn'n

Arrived on the Dallas yard on Friday afternoon. Completed everything except a class on Friday and therefore was completed before noon on Saturday. They had not begun to work on my truck by late evening on Saturday, so I slept in the drivers lounge area. They have a remote control but it only turns off of the controller for the cable, not the TV. I must of gotten a good 4 plus hours of sleep.

Today they have finished the vitals on the truck and I was given a load off the yard to Laredo. Unfortunately the trailer needs worked on so I am waiting for them to fix the trailer. The load is due at 8 AM in Laredo.

I thought one of the purposes of going to the yard was to trade trucks. WRONG! I have to bribe the person in charge so she will decide to have mercy on the soul of a worm, loathsome enough to crawl out of the muck and speak to someone of such high merit. Being nice to people is usually easy. Going to the extreme vacuum stage of relationships is not my cup of tea.

Negative

What is (.85 * 1150)-900? Can we say not pretty?

Arrived to the yard from Austin,TX with a short pick up in Waco on the way back up the freeway. Yes it is more money since I was not an empty trailer the whole distance; however, it was far short of what I had hoped would happen. I am stuck here until Saturday afternoon or Monday afternoon. I won't know until tomorrow.

http://livingwaters.com/ is an interesting website. Origin of the Species is public domain so a minister published it with a 50 page insert regarding the view of a creator. He is handing out 50,000 copies of the book across college campuses . Intro video by Kirk Cameron.

The birds are assuming their various nesting locations for the night. I will enjoy going to the large oak trees on the back of the building and listening to the grackles early in the morning. I thought I was supposed to be trading trucks; however, when I arrived the list was short and nothing about trading in my truck with 430762 miles. I guess drive it until the wheels fall off.

Rockmart,GA

Picked up a load in Rockmart,GA heading for Austin,TX. Whoever planned this load really messed up. They thought that merely agreeing to pick up the items was the same as actually scheduling an appointment. I arrive and no one in any of the three shipping offices knows anything about my load. Several hours later they determine the problem and state they will load me when they have time. Load was supposed to pick up at 3 PM; I was loaded at 20 minutes after midnight. WASTED day for money. Truck not rolling means no money. It originally was supposed to be in Austin at 10AM on 17. They changed the date/time to 18th at 5AM. I am in Troy,TX about 57 miles away. Requested a preplan so I would travel to Laredo then Dallas on Sunday or Monday. "yeah John were working on something" If they send me straight to the yard tomorrow from Austin, I will not be very encouraged. It will be a paycheck that starts with a negative number.

I bought American cheese at WalMart while waiting in Rockmart,GA. I was looking forward to hotdogs this afternoon; however, I forgot this Love's does not have hotdogs. Charlie called just a few minutes ago: send money, I am in debt. Yes; however, I am in TX and preparing to declare bankruptcy. I do not have ability to send much money. Are we all having fun yet?

Braselton,GA

I delivered the products. It was listed as hazardous; however, not enough to actually be listed for federal purposes so I could carry the load more easily. It was a high value load from Rochester,NY to a small town outside of Atlanta,GA of Kodak. No digital cameras since they would not need temperature control per se.

I have one and 1/2 hours on the books for tomorrow so I have feeling I am stuck in Braselton. The area is lacking in parking for trucks. I am thankful I do not have a trailer currently!

Started the next keynote for Psalms 146; however, right now I am finishing a letter to Charlie and Melody. Hopefully that will be in Jean's email box so she can send off.

9-11

My day started in Carterer,NJ. I imagine 8 years ago that little quite community was far different on that fateful day. My older brother sent me a slide show of images from 9-11. I purchased a piece of cello music that I added to the show. It heightened the effects of the images.

Today I am picking up from a secret location and delivering to a secret location. I will share the info after I deliver.

Son #1 writes a heart felt letter from jail, while son #3 is counting the days until he turns 18 and the world becomes his oyster. I hope he finds the big pearl.

shh, I'm sleeping

Msg 19 on the QC is a Trip Plan. It is required before one leaves the shipper. I sent my msg 19 before I left Aurora. I am now in Effingham,IL. I had scheduled myself to only go to Troy. I am ahead on mileage and time. However, after I went into the truck stop and reentered my truck the phone rang. "Hi John, this is Jay. They have put you on the repower board." No Jay, I am fine, check my msg 19 I will make delivery. Why do we put things in writing if they are simply ignored?

I will be arising around 9PM to take a shower before refueling then on the road again about 10:45PM,then off to Love's Travel Stop,Hubbard,OH I go.

When one is fighting a spiritual war, why do our supposed fellow warriors, fight so hard to disarm us?

Rescuing worms

I off loaded at Safeway warehouse in Denver yesterday and I am stuck in Aurora,CO until 0500 tomorrow morning. So I took a walk before "enjoying" lunch at McDonald's. While walking around the commercial properties I observed live worms wiggling on the sidewalk. I scooted them back to the grass. Several others needed water and electric shock therapy to revive. Why would so many worms leave the lush lawn areas to crawl onto the concrete where they would die of dehydration? Sounds like people I know (maybe even the one in the mirror) who creep away from the bounty of God only to whither in the harsh reality of this world.

Took lots of pictures with my cell phone camera on my walk. I did not take pictures of any of the rescued worms. Need to spend money on a real camera again; however, these images will do for now.

Labor day

Last labor day weekend I was with John and we were waiting to pickup a load in KY. I have no load to pickup and regrettably I am not in Florence,KY. I still remember the friendly hospitality of a family in that small community.

Went online to find a church to attend tomorrow. Found one about 1.3 miles away. Actually it was 196 miles. Google kept moving a church in Rifle,CO to Rifle Road,Aurora,CO. So much for walking to that church. Found another one that looked promising until you read the fine print and discover that it is an off shoot of the Mormon church. There are two LDS churches within easy walking of my location. May have to settle for podcasts.

A friend, who at 80 was still running 5 miles per day, had a stroke. His dear wife has worked with him tirelessly. The physical therapist showed them this video. I thought it was wonderful so embedded to share.

Away from the fires

LA Basin was smokey, picking up produce in downtown LA was made even a greater joy by traveling during the evening "rush hour." It took 3.75 hours to travel 115 miles. Cars jumping in front of the truck as if I can stop on a dime. Luckily I was loaded light so I had some weight behind the brakes but not so much that it would keep pushing the truck forward. The smoke traveled with me today until I was past Kingman,AZ.

Charlie was offered a deal of 90 days in the county jail. 90 days verses 2 years in the state prison? Which one should he choose? duh. I pray he wakes up while there. Melody is very mad at him still and that is just the tip of the ice berg these two create.

Rodney Atkins sings Watching You. One of the lines is "Lord please help me help my stupid self." Does that not sum up my day?

Just a few days

Just a few days ago, Charlie announced to the world that he would be a father April 3rd. However, since that posting he is now an inmate at the Stanislaus County Honor Farm for burglary and possession of stolen property. Now Melody, his wife to be, is very upset and does not know what to do. Let us pray for thoughtfulness to prevail where there has been none up to now. At 85 cents per minute I had to limit Charlie to calling me next Thursday after his court time.

I wrote him last night and thought of Jonah. God directed Jonah on a mission, Jonah did not want to go so he ran. 3 days in the belly of the whale made Jonah reach a different conclusion. I expressed how God had tried several times to get his attention and now he was in the belly of the whale. Yes it will be for more than 3 days, but he lesson still applies: do you wake up and walk in the Light or do you keep pressing on toward your own goals and pleasures.

Then I thought of the 70 foot 80,000 pound whale I am in. Do I wake up and walk in the Light or do I keep pressing on toward my own goals and pleasures?

Collect call from Stanislaus County Honor Farm

The zoom button does not work on the cell camera, therefore unable to adjust photo to show greater detail heading toward Center,TX.

Christopher has run off, so I called probation and county sheriff about that situation. I just a little while ago received a phone call from Stanislaus County Honor Farm. Charlie is in jail again. This time the bail is $51,000 for burglary plus they added back on the pot charge from previously. Jesse is running amuck in San Andreas, Chris ran off to unknown location and Matthew having basic challenges of growing up. Paula is really needing a vacation!

Beaumont,TX

This load traveled strangely. Originally I was heading for Bradenton,FL when they redirected me to Jacksonville,FL to pickup soy milk to deliver several places. I delivered in Quincy,FL a few hours after picking up the load. The next delivery was in Pensacola,FL. At 8 AM tomorrow is the finally delivery in Houston,TX. I get an 8 hour break here in Beaumont before leaving at 5AM to head for Houston. Driving in "rush hour" traffic is certainly an added joy! Driving on I-10. Cell phone camera does not do justice to what God created.

Grandpa?

I remember the jump rope saying of first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. I will be become a grandpa around April 3rd by son #1 skipping a step. Satan may win a battle or two; however, we do not need to surrender Victory! Let us pray Charlie uses this as a wake up call to walk more closely with the Lord. We have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. I fight often for the right to carry the baton to lead the sinners parade; however, I am striving to walk in the light as He is in the light.

Arrived at Logansport,IN and they wrote down my phone number wrong at the gate. Therefore when my load became ready at 5 in the afternoon, instead of 3AM as posted, they gave it away to another Stevens driver. I am now still here until around 5 this afternoon, to take a shorter trip to MacClenny,FL. I have to be there on 8/25 @ 1:15 my time. Someone needs there head examined. I should probably raise my hand.

Logansport,IN

I hope at some point to see things from a different perspective than from the trenches. The people on the shipping end, the receiving end and the dispatch people in between, all have the I get to go home as their main mantra. The one moving the product the furthest in the chain, from Logansport,IN to Miami,FL will not be home tonight. Will eat from the fine selection of groceries in the truck and will do all this for less than minimum wage. One of us needs our head examined.

Anyone have $30,000 dollars they would like to earn 10% on their money? I believe that is better than the banks are currently paying! I have a proposition for you. Send your email inquiry to kiltman@me.com

Red shirts

At stevens transport, training staff are referred to as red shirts. One recently moved from red shirt back to driver status. I had met him at the Dallas yard, he drove with me on a road test. My BAHA's made him uncomfortable. The road test was shorter than scheduled and I passed. He was interesting to converse with today.

The truck is supposed to be turned in between 380,000 and 420,000 miles. I will reach the 420 milestone tomorrow when I leave Springfield,MO.

I normally drive starting around 5 or 6 AM; however, for the past few days it is graveyard shift driving. It is 5:26 in the afternoon and I will need to return to driving at midnight. I had a short nap earlier in the day; however, so much for the 8 hours of sleep.

Since we are so smart as to figure out how God makes electricity (lightening) why do we not figure out how to make it ourselves or harvest what he so bountifully supplies? There was not a shortage of electrical display while driving last night.

Suicide is painless

Remember the theme song from MASH? As the negative swirls around in my head because of poor choices in the past or maybe perceived problems of the present it is easy to plunder into depression. Then faith of a mustard seed takes hold. Suddenly one more song on the radio to make you think. You are wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt that reflects into the windshield back at you so it looks like someone is reaching out with a large smile to give you a hug. You laugh. You drive into the storm that is gripping the town, drive past the overturned pickup and then look into your side mirror. The sun is shining very bright. The water spray from the drive tires has allowed a rainbow to appear next to your truck. You are driving with a rainbow. Yes I remember who created the rainbow. I rest knowing once again who is in control.

Is it Love?

Do you love me from Fiddler on the Roof. Tonight I am dining on store bought applesauce; however, it is not any store bought applesauce. It is from home. Budget tight, 3 mouths to feed besides her own, yet she thinks of me in the small things. Tevye asked his question. I think I found my answer.

Happy Birthday to me

This birthday is even stranger than last years. Last year I was with someone else in the truck. Today, I am stuck in the truck by myself, delivering a load in Fort Worth,TX at 11PM. Difficult to even run around and say hello while waiting for the people here at Target DC to unload the trailer.

Jesse is home again for the time being. He has been in a very poor environment and has suffered greatly for his choices. I hope the suffering was not endured in vain. Heard from Aunt Kim last night. The boys tell her things thinking she will keep their secrets. She loves to call me at that point to share what she knows. Unfortunately some of the information that was shared with her was not correct.

Psalms 139

Paula said the last Psalms read was 138, therefore 139 should be this Sunday. Okay, I think of this image and that; oh wait, there is a phone call. With a few simple words, "Dad, her test came back positive." suddenly those words penned many years ago take on a whole new meaning. At what point do you turn your broken pieces over to God? When do you surrender to the master weaver?

No fun

We left as soon as possible from Hubbard,OH. Stopped about 1.5 hours down the road for a quick potty break. We stopped again for 15 minutes (potty break and move the trailer tandems all the way forward) and drove swiftly to NY. Unfortunately the George Washington Bridge was backed up so I arrived 30 minutes late. The vendor decided to close 30 minutes early. So now my loads both deliver late. Currently on hold at Stevens. I have been waiting for someone to answer the phone for 54 minutes and counting. Are we having fun yet?

At least the weather is currently pleasant.

Purple Bouquets

Driving from Nebraska to Iowa there were flowers on the sides of the road. At 60 mph they look like small daisy mums; however, the plants are covered in flowers so it gives it the appearance of a purple bouquet. I wonder to whom I would give such flowers? Ha.

We picked up in Fort Worth, heading for Cheyenne,WY. Dropped there only to dead head to Lexington,NE. Lexington was ready when we arrived so we drove a little further up the road. We were able to make it to Iowa 80 again, but we still missed going through the truck museum. We were supposed to have reasonable day tomorrow; however, someone else is behind on their load so we will repower that load. It delivers the same basic places I was going only in the opposite order: Bronx,NY then Philly.

I really miss being with Paula. I do not know why, but this week has been more difficult than others. I am not "home sick." I am missing her. Staying at home equals no money. Yes there are things more important than money, but not according to our bills!

Driving Naked

Not really; however, I am without a trailer heading from Hutchinson,KS to Dallas,TX.

Matthew and I attended church in Hutchinson. It was selected using Google examining satellite images to determine which church parking lot would allow my truck to park. Crestview Bible Church also had a website which is the other criteria for choosing a place to attend. The service was short until the sermon. That seemed to go on forever. He was preaching on Mark 16:19-20. It took him three years to get this far in the book of Mark. He was planning on a review lesson next Sunday. I knew by listening to the message this was where I was supposed to be today. God was speaking directly to me several times; however, it was a challenge to find the pearls in the straw. Matthew got almost zero. The building was 40% full. The Light of the world is being hidden. How do I do my part to uncover the candle?

Dalhart,TX

It seems like only a few days ago we left this little community only to return today. We dropped our load in SoCal, was given a new load headed for NY; however, it was really headed for the rail yard. A new load was given where I picked up a trailer from a grocery chain to pick up the product in Vernon,CA to deliver both trailer and product to Kansas. California EPA rules ban the trailer, therefore the business is moving the trailer to another state. So much for cleaning the air. CA bans coal fired plants etc. for electrical generation, I wonder if the companies that sell CA electricity should only sell it green electricity? Would there be more black outs?

Have not heard from Charlie today, he was very sick past few days. Christopher has deceived Paula again and is running around with Jesse. I was able to get ahold of David Sr. I stated Chris was supposed to meet Paula at the store earlier and she was worried about him and was preparing to call the sheriff. David is a felon on parole. Those words seemed to create motivation. Christopher was not supposed to be there at all. Are well all having fun yet?

Maturity is not always optional

Without a vision people perish, meaning that without seeing the future, you make choices now without regards to the future consequences. Matthew and I went malling today at the Mills mall in Ontario. Most of the stores were void of customers; however, there were plenty of people milling about the complex. I have plenty of photos of myself that demonstrate I had know idea how to be "cool" when I was a old teen/young adult. But I do not have any evidence I carry with me about 35 years later. Rest homes in 40 plus years will be interesting.

We are supposed to pickup in the LA Basin tomorrow morning then head for NY. I will not be able to make it because of the time factor so I will probably be repowered in meat patch area. Either way should be a good pay day for once!

Peaceful drive

4 Stevens trucks have rolled over within 75 miles of Dodge City, two near Hooker,OK. Today's drive was getting fuel in Hooker. I listened to the radio, viewed weather.com for gusty wind reports and even listened to the weather band. We made it to Dalhart,TX for our stop for the night.

Mark Schultz wrote a song called Letters from War. The song is written for the true war hero; however, I think of the spiritual meaning. Our sons are captured by Satan. Our prayer is still the same. The mother states: You're good and you're brave What a father that you'll be someday Bring him home Bring him safe She wrote everynight as she prayed.

Matthew and I talked about the poverty mentality that seems to plague his brothers. Matthew asked me if I would like a motor home that drove away. I stated yes; however, I asked him if it was at my home if it would have looked like the one that drove away. He stated no, because it would have been cut up or simply destroyed. I pray the Lord will allow this mentality to end.

The little dig

Although today, July 3rd, is not a holiday; message on the QC reminded the drivers that Dallas would be understaffed today. Although the drivers are "the most important person here at Stevens", this little reminder of no extra pay for working holidays etc reminds one of the true picture!

We are in Terre Haute,IN for the night, then off to Beto Junction,KS tomorrow. Politicians and others far removed from reality make laws regarding vehicle exhaust without considering the true consequences of their decisions. It is illegal to idle in California for more than 3 minutes; however, if you have a pet it is okay. So the driver is unable to get a restful night of sleep because the mosquitos are buzzing about and fear of Lyme disease. Can you use that as a defense in your wreck-less driving accident? Al Gore made me do it?

I do not know if we will be able to see a good display of fireworks tonight or tomorrow. Let us hope.

Awaiting news

Today was court for Jesse. Awaiting news

My older brother sent an email that my grandmother fell and broke her neck and is at UC Davis. Awaiting news.

I am in CT awaiting the final leg of this journey with the load from NE. The rules state I can take an 8 hour break drive the remaining time on my clock for today then I must take a two hour break. I had to stop sooner than planned because the traffic got real bad hear in CT. So I try to rest knowing the phone will ring. I try to rest with an anxious heart. Waiting, even when you think you have mastered that skill, it comes back once again.

Hail, lightening, wind

We left Sidney,NE and headed east toward the dark clouds listening to a radio station I thought was local. WRONG! It was from Denver. We drove through a bad thunder storm. Large hail crashing upon the truck. We were able to switch to a local station which for a native prune picker (California native) resulted in more fear! Funnel clouds spotted near our area, small clouds touching the ground as if preparing to become tornados near our area. We made it out! We parked in North Platte only to listen as the warnings sounded again. I put the gear down on the trailer and then the 55 plus mph winds came. I was thankful they were from behind and even more thankful to have a full trailer.

I googled for a church to attend tomorrow; however, none are very close. Most are in areas that would not allow my truck to come visit.

Missed opportunities

Charlie and I did not make it to Stockton in time for church; however, we did visit with Grandma. I took Charlie back to Modesto that night; whereupon he was arrested and spent the next 3 days in jail. He was released and all charges dropped. Jesse has taken up his continued tough guy attitude, foul language and now has decided everyone is wrong: pot is okay. I informed him Monday night that when his court date is finalized he will have 7 days to find other accommodations. Today he went to town and applied for medical and welfare. We are broken hearted again.

Matthew and I are on the truck, picked up a salad load from Salinas and heading for North Platte. It delivers Sunday, so by the time everything is paid, I will be in the hole this week. So much for a good time!

When the budget is cut to help your child who needs the assistance and then allows the child that does not need assistance to even apply, something is wrong with the system.

California here I come

We finally left the Dallas yard only to be delayed at the Kraft. It was supposed to load at 2PM; however, it actually did not complete loading until 2AM. So off we go at 5AM on our way to Stockton,CA. Now with the delay we should still make it by Sunday, the question will be if we can make it to church. Charlie wants to see Grandma Beulah after church before I drop him in Modesto. Let us pray for a safe journey.

Edinburg,TX

So close to the Mexican border and yet it reads like a German town. But walk around a little and it is not Germany!

Loading took much longer than it should, therefore we arrived when our 14 hour clock expired. When we left from the shippers I drove down Military Blvd, aka, we drove past Stevens. I thought the truck might suddenly lurch to the left to go home, but we were able to drive past it safely.

No Candy!

We delivered early at Mars DC in Waco,TX. Monday - Friday that have a shipping/receiving office that has free bags of candy. Today is Sunday!

Church was the usual disappointment I find with many services that are lead by modern musician types. They fail to understand the difference between a performance and leading. He would change the words from what was posted on the screen, he would add more lines, which in turn leads to the congregation turning into audience instead of participant. But then the sermon was delivered and I knew this was where God had wanted us to be. Kevin was starting a lesson series on family. T A L K E D: Time, Attention, Listen, Kindness, Encouragement, Do. It will give Charlie and I something to focus on before he leaves the truck hopefully this coming week. However, it is not encouraging when you are sent from Waco to Dallas to pick up a load going to Weslaco, TX (near Brownsville). That is about as far from CA as I can get and stay in TX!

Only cavemen write on walls

Where did I read that? On the bathroom wall! I could have also started out about buffalos, camels and zebras which I observed near Dallas on I-20.

We drove from Cleveland, TN to Tallulah,LA yesterday and then drove today to Waco,TX where this load delivers. We are loaded with M & Ms chocolate of various configurations. All that chocolate for someone to enjoy! At the factory in TN when we parked the trailer in the back the smell of twix candy bars was almost overwhelming.

We have no where to go tomorrow, I have 3.25 hours on my clock which is more than enough time to deliver this load, so we will attend church tomorrow. Googled churches, came across a church of Christ, "we are the only ones worshipping right...", needless to say we will not be gracing their doors. I will find out in a few more minutes if I will be trailer free and therefore can drive, or if we will be walking. We skirted past all the major storm activity, just missing tornado warnings given shortly after we left one area! I thank God for his kindness and mercy. If I would not want God's judgment upon myself, why should I wish it for others?

Garden City, NY

We had trouble running around NY, it looks like Columbus is a major road but do not let the map fool you! Fortunately Charlie was awake at the time so we were able to move the map around and correct our lostness. This trip had a lot of lostness in it. Even ending up in Garden City, the delivery is on a major road (Stewart), but it was difficult to determine where the truck entrance was, so drive down the street, turn around and come back. Sit in the turn lane for a moment to make sure I am where I need to be, before I make a turn. Then I asked for a preplan/load out of here. The sounds of silence was all I heard next.

I wonder what is next at home. The many challenges Paula has endured plus the problems the boys have created for themselves... I look to understand, where is God working through all of this? How can I make sure I am being used in His service? When people read ICR 12:12 and following I often see myself as a portion of the body not mentioned. Do I need to change my self image into how God sees me? DUH!

Welcome to Indiana

I was unable to deliver the salad load, so traded for a WalMart load. Delivered it in Cheyenne, was sent to Lexington,NE to pick up a load. Delivered it to a Distribution center in Ottawa,IL. Picked up from there and will complete delivery of various meat items in NJ and NY. While enjoying the fine travels at early morning hours, a State Trooper pulled me over just as I crossed through the toll plaza. He stated I had not slowed down nor moved over as required by law for stopped emergency vehicles. He did a level 3DOT inspection and discovered nothing wrong with my paper work and therefore issued a warning. It also states my truck is green (it is blue) and the data for the bill of lading was wrong. ( I have 4 drops, he states one of the receivers is the shipper.) I did my yes sir, no sir, thank you's and drove away happy to receive only a warning. With the crazy things going on at home, I do not need to add to the financial crisis of the Elston household!

Salad season

Charlie and I were home for a brief stay. We thought it would only be a short visit on Saturday, but ended up staying Sunday night at home. We were supposed to pick up a load of berries in Watsonville, but that was canceled and our load was two picks of salad items in San Juan Batista heading east. Two pallets took 2 hours, the next one... who knows, we are still sitting. If I leave here at 0130 in the morning and drive all night etc, for the next 3 days I can make it. If that sounds like fun to anyone I can give you an 800 # to call.

May not get very far with this load before they repower us. If so will probably be back into this area. I will not be happy. Because the packing sheds load at what ever pace they decide, the drivers suffer in the pocket book. Although not excited about the idea of having a student driver on the truck, it would allow me to roll on loads like this without the same problems.

"We got to get out of this place" isn't that a song?

Funnies in Mojave

Received preplan after we drop load tomorrow: Lodi. Only three problems: It picks up before I deliver in Fresno. My clock runs out of time before I could possibly drive that far. Stevens was informed of this earlier in the day. Such funny people to tease me with going so close to home I can taste the sweet kisses. So much for preplanning.

Strafford to Amarillo

Drove 550 miles today. Under the new policy I doubt I will ever be able to reach those 650 days again. Oh well, fun while it lasted. The weather forecast was for rain, T-storms, etc, all day while we traveled; however, it was sunny and calm until reaching Texas. Winds picked up after Oklahoma City. Stopped at a rest stop in Gary County. It also serves as the Welcome center for this section of highway. Actually spent some time and read the displays, almost felt like a tourist! Then it was back to the truck.

Charlie shared some things off the truck that should not have left the truck, thus violating an important rule, "What's said on the truck, stays on the truck." We have also reached a turning point in some areas that I am working with him. I pray he will take the next step to move forward. I fear him returning to some of the same patterns that he was involved in prior to getting on the truck. Who had that great quote, " I can resist everything except temptation."

Shelbysville,KY

We ran around the Dallas area delivering to 6 places, then on to the Dallas Yard. The deliveries were such a major hassle. I know that after the time on the yard, the short trip to Gas City,IN that this last week will be very short in the pocket book. We now have a trip starting Monday from Shelbysville,KY to Fresno,CA.

Charlie spotted his first fireflies. One even committed suicide on the windshield. Because the chemicals were in constant contact it glowed on the windshield for almost 2 hours.

We did not make it to church today, the community was to far away to walk and still leave good time for driving from Gas City to Simpsonville,KY where we will spend the night.

Management at Stevens, just like any other large carrier, has staff with driving experience; however, since they last drove the computer age has taken over. This gives head quarters more information about the little things in life, thus encouraging the little Napoleon types to control more and more of what people do in the field. In just the year I have been driving, we have gone from allowing the truck to go the speed limit down minor hills (less than 75 mph); however, now we must maintain at our governed speed (mine is 62). If you average 60 in a day you will be written up. I averaged just over 58 today, so I may get written up because I am supposed to only be able to do 57 to 58. I believe they are anxiously awaiting the arrival of drone trucks, when they can drive them from Dallas. When they can huddle the "perfect" people around who can drive the trucks, rather than imperfect people who strive to do their best, which often is less than perfection. Sounds like my walk with the Lord. I am supposed to have a student on the truck after August, but I do not think I want the extra pressure and responsibility. With the tightening of the economy, the trucking industry is able to enjoy a great position: more people wanting a job they vacancies to fill. Therefore they are implementing policies to terminate much more quickly. Returning to a position of no one knows me is the best policy. I am looking forward to better from myself. Paula deserves so much more than the grief the boys have given her. They soil the name they were given, which again sounds like me, soiling the name I have taken (Christian). It is hard to always see them in the light of right and wrong, black and white, when the critical years created such graying of the lines for them. In the story of the sowing the seeds, is it easier to remove the stones when the ground is not the best top soil? Sorry for the long article, to many thoughts for one blog.

Insanity

Laredo to Dallas, repower in Dallas. Only it was not just to the yard, it was to deliver at 1:30 AM with 5 more stops! I am not having fun. Then I talk with Paula and she is certainly not having fun with 3 pending court appearance for shop lifting. And we are supposed to make this journey sober? Prayer seems inadequate, you want a walking, talking meeting with the Lord. You want that PERSONAL assurance that it is in HIS hands. Blown tires on trailers and paychecks that will not even buy a Happy Meal mean nothing to missing the greatest lessons in life. I am talking to Charlie's fiancee, background almost as complicated as his own. Boy do I need that walk.

Richmond Hill, GA

We delivered our one tote of product from Phoenix to Pooler,GA. The load was only 3307 pounds, it looked like our trailer was empty. I have not received a new load assignment yet, so we drove the 12 miles down the road to a Love's where we have free drinks and can take a shower later. The heat is only 80; however, the humidity is up so it feels uncomfortable to those of us from a dry heat area.

There is very little to do around here so we will be forced to talk. Maybe. I will probably be forced to take the phone away!

Letting Go

The birdies must leave the next sometime and I have come to the conclusion we are not prepared to be bird parents, elephants yes, birds no. I cannot find one parent who wishes to raise jail birds. Sons with criminal records for shop lifting, one for violence against others... Lord did I fail that much? I know I am short several hours per day of prayer time, maybe...

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for, brokenness is what I need? Do I not weep enough? If in the words of John Wright, Paula and I were only doing salvage work, I am a miserable failure. Do I not see some good? Truly I do; however, the choice of evil is so strong it overwhelms the good that I see.

So I let go even more than before. Two "men" who fight for personal freedom without taking the added part of being an adult: responsibility. I love them both, but it is time to let go.

Go where?

We were supposed to be on our way to Denver,CO with a load of watermelons. At almost 10PM the phone rings, "Could you help us out, we have a load that needs to be repowered that will be in Lordsburg in a few minutes. It delivers in Tolleson,AZ at 2:30AM." So rather than a leisurely drive north, it was a mad dash to a suburb of Phoenix. The first receiver was poorly organized and took forever. The second one (Costco) had us in at 6:06AM and out by 6:28AM. Our appointment was for 6:30! We pulled off of their property, parked on the edge of the road and slept for 5 hours.

Some when they have overcome problems seem to pole vault to a different level in life. Others seem to take a stairway like you find in the Winchester house. Four or five times as many steps than should be used to reach the top of the stairs. I see myself as a stair climber. Often falling back several steps. I know there are days my potential is far below the minimal acceptable standards. But do I believe in my heart of hearts that my Heavenly Father loves me in spite of my weakness? Tearfully yes.

I asked Charlie about how he felt about some of the things we have been doing on the truck. I asked him if he felt judged by me. He stated the first night when he informed me of several life choices he had made and all I did was hold him tight, kiss his forehead and tell him several times he was loved; he knew I was not out to judge him. He knows right from wrong but like all of us does not necessarily make the correct choice. How can I show him less love than my own Heavenly Father has shown me for the many times I have not made the correct choice? I pray that God will bless this effort and will allow this young man time to bloom.

Lordsburg,NM

It has been a while since I last posted. Part of the problem has been the challenges Charlie and I have faced with schedules. There are two different methods of breaks. One is straight forward, drive 11 in 14 with a 10 hour break. The other is drive, take an 8 hour break, drive, take a two hour break and drive again! Method one is preferred; however, sometimes scheduling requires method two. We picked up a load in Dodge City to take to San Diego. We made it to Winslow,AZ when Dallas gave the load to someone else. We made it to Kingman,AZ when they took that load and gave us a load to Las Cruces,NM. We delivered that load, then repowered a load going to Nogales,AZ that we delivered this morning. We are now on our way to Denver,CO with lots of time to spare. Not good for money, but great for sleep!

Charlie and I are having some great conversations, but my deepest concern is that his many years of self protection will allow him to say and do things on the truck that will not hold up once he is back to civilization. Drink free and smoke free (including whacky tobacky ) is easier with limited resources and no time. He plans to marry a woman in Modesto who was living the same basic lifestyle, but we have helped her make better choices for her and her son. I just pray to break that chameleon head game he plays and truly break into his heart. He is so good at it I told him is more like an octopus. If you watch the video in the first few seconds you notice the octopus not only blends in with the color, but also the skin will raise up to imitate the surrounding rocks.

Tallulah,LA

We are at the Loves, there is a casino. This one is better hidden than the one in NV. Will deliver tomorrow, was able to confirm with Jay that is okay.

The magnolia trees are starting to bloom in MS on I-20. They have planted several trees along the I-20 corridor. Spring is lovely here in the south. Not muggy, but hot enough for the bugs and birds to be out in full force.

Trying to not just think but to also think right is challenging enough for myself sometimes, but to search for the right thing to say, the right encouragement to help someone else to think is certainly a greater challenge. Correct answers are not what I desire. Thinking, creating rational reasoning for making certain choices. I know that is sometimes more than I ask of myself, but "because" and "I don't know" are not rational reasons. I have tried those myself!

Zion Baptist Church

Welcome to Braselton,GA. I sent an email to the leadership of a local church of Christ; however, they did not answer back when I asked if I could park my truck (no trailer) in their lot to attend church. So Charlie and I walked across the freeway via the overpass, crossed the street and walked a total of 1/2 mile. Zion in is the warehouse district. The building has a warehouse appearance from the outside, but the inside is certainly far removed from the image. The drummer was inside a glass walled booth. It even had a roof on it. I reminded Charlie of Animal from the Muppets had to be chained to keep him in line. The imagery proved correct when they started playing. The drummer was good, but wow: An Animal! There were two songs done a cappella, the rest used the entire band. The three woman who sang the a cappella part were fantastic. The rest of the music was good, just it was current hits on the top 20 chart. Therefore minimal input from people over 40, but most were at least lip singing. It is always amazing to me that the instrument becomes the key rather than the words being the key. There is "music" playing right now on the truck that is Charlie's. Although the instruments are louder than I prefer I can most of the time still hear and understand the singers. The lesson had a slight shotgun pattern to it; therefore parts of it were very confusing. A fairly friendly congregation. If Jesse had been here we probably would have gone to lunch with someone! Pick up a load in Norcross at Kraft that delivers in Haslet,TX at the rail yard.

Danvers, MA

After driving from 2 AM several days to driving from midnight today, it was nice this load was finally off the truck. While waiting for it to be off loaded, I checked my email and discovered my pay record. $385-, yes boys and girls that is correct, a negative balance. Over joyed was not the emotion I was thinking of. I examined the settlement closely and discovered they had not included the longest portion of miles: Stockton-Salinas-Terrell, TX. Wow that will make a difference when you are paid by the miles! So contacted Dallas. Oh we found the error, we will pay you tomorrow. That is special. Paula is always paid a day later than me, so she will be paid on Friday instead of Thursday. What fun!

Tonight we are in Sturbridge, MA; unfortunately that does not include enough time to visit the many wonderful sights within this community. Trucking and tourism are not the same thing. Tomorrow pick up a load in Walton,NY with delivery in Norcross,GA. It is irritating because of the hour it is due. Pick up is 5PM and delivery is on the 25th at 7AM. Why can't they think through the delivery a little better?

Today is a great day to curl up in a comfy chair with a great book and maybe have a dream session with my wife. I will have to settle for the book.

Boonville,MO

We are on our way to Danvers,MA. According to the weather map it will be cloudy or rainy virtually everyday. Unfortunately it also means that today when I arrived here at 3:15 PM I need to arise at 1:30 AM to start driving by 2AM. 2AM Monday and Tuesday , then midnight on Wednesday. Hope everyone in MA enjoys the work!

Jess brought up a point of we revert to certain behaviors. I know this to be true in my own, which most often is to revert back to old songs of the church when alone; however, when your personal choices were poor early in life, reverting back is sometimes to put your game face on. You are making some progress toward the direction you say you want to go, but it is all superficial progress.

We did not attend church today. We needed to drive more miles yesterday to have the time today. I am glad that little voice inside my head said stay at Dodge City,KS last night and not drive onward to Newton. The road is a good road, but it is not marked as clearly as one might desire at 11PM with cloud cover. It is almost 6PM, time for bed!

Sitting in Aurora

Our load was changed from Longmont to Aurora. Delivery was changed to 5PM in the afternoon in Aurora. It was snowing a little in Limon; however, here... well let us simply say continuos deluge. They finally brought the snow plow out onto the property here at King Soopers.

Bunkie has decided to leave tobacco. Living a life clean and sober will be a challenge. Certainly part of your prayers.

Received pre plan of a load from KS to MA. It is supposed to deliver on April 22. The miles are nice; however, the weather will certainly add a challenge. No jake brake or no cruise control for the entire trip because of the weather. The multi day forecast shows rain from here to the east coast as we travel. Better rain than the crystalized water we are sitting with currently. They have still not started unloading our trailer, despite sitting here several hours already. Maybe we will enjoy the view of Aurora tonight from the parking lot of King Soopers. I hope we can at least make it back to Limon, but hopefully I can make it to Oakley or Garden City, KS.

A night in Limon,CO

We received a repower load from Lancaster,TX. I scaled out the load only to discover it was 2300 pounds over on the drive axles. Over all the weight was okay; however, it could not be adjusted any further. I was a little nervous, but company said role with it heavy. I wish I had checked the map first. I would have known the weight was okay for Colorado. Instead we wasted valuable time in Lancaster/Dallas area. I was unable to deliver the load today. We found someone who could repower it, so now I am delivering a load tomorrow in Aurora,CO. About 30 miles shorter, oh well, lessons learned.

In the analogy of children to fledglings in the nest, one often hears about the little one's leaving the nest. If you think of your fledglings as sparrows then if they fall out you encourage them to fly, you even risk your life to chase away the cat; however, ultimately it is up to the fledgling to fly. Moving that to eagles we are told they will lift the young up to get them to fly. The point? Which camp do I fall into with my own fledglings? Do I let them "fly," but when they fall only encourage them and attempt to keep somethings of the world off of them or do I rescue them from the perils of life? Sometimes that fine line must be done on an individual basis. Prayerfully I do not attempt to rescue the child that must run among the grass or let fall the child that needs to be lifted up.

Traveling with Charlie

Charlie arrived on the truck Saturday. He was not at the agreed place, I had to collect him in Modesto, but it worked out. We have now traveled to El Paso,TX from Modesto/Salinas. We have not had in depth conversations yet, but we are making progress. Pray for slow and study wins the race. Totally different in so many ways that Jesse.

Heard that Randy dressed as a bunny for the Easter Eggtravaganza. For some reason all I can think of is Gilda Radner on SNL when she would miss understand something and go on and on until corrected. "It is not right for a male minister to wear black stockings, high heels, and a fuzzy bunny tail..." No it is the Easter Bunny. Oh, never mind.

We are on the journey to Terrell,TX. I should be on the yard for the rest of Wednesday and part of Thursday. Then back on the journey.

For those who read this blog, please keep Jesse in your prayers as he learns to surrender to God, Charlie as he learns to truly trust, Christopher that he will have a back bone not just be a follower to every whim, Matthew who is struggling with many issues, for their biological Aunt Kim who was admitted to the hospital for an infection (she suffers from diabetes and does not control it very well) and finally for Paula. Paula fights the good fight one handed. I am thankful we could spend a little more time with each other for my home time. It was wonderful to see Jean.

Lake Point,UT

Just a few miles from SLC at the edge of the Great Salt Lake, is Lake Point. Spending the night at the TA. When entering UT is was selected at the way station for a complete DOT inspection. I passed, my log books/paperwork passed, my trailer passed; however, my truck did not. Left rear light was out so was issued a simple fixit ticket. Better than the fixit tickets in CA. When I arrived at the TA I thought simple process: just unscrew a few things, replace the bulb and be done with it. Not so lucky. Kenworth designed the lights to be a one unit replacement part. Did I mention they do not make the lights anymore? So I will stop at the Kenworth dealer in Sparks,NV tomorrow to have the wiring harness and both lights replaced. Supposedly this is a Kenworth replacement item. We'll see.

Charlie called yesterday. He sounds excited to come onto the truck. We will surely need to be added to the prayer list on Saturday night! I so desperately desire to be used by God so Charlie can see the bigger picture: God Loves you and wants to have a relationship with you.

Altoona,IA

Spent the night in Walcott,IA at "the world's largest truck stop." Free WiFi (most truck stops charge ridiculous fees) huge shopping area for truckers, trucks on display, several restaurants and wonderful showers. I should have stayed put. I drove to Altoona. The truck stop is very nice, very clean; however, the WiFi does not work consistently and the ATT connection is 2.5G at best. This is the worst weather I have been in so far. I shut the truck down. Poor visibility, blowing snow and consistently falling snow made stopping an easy choice. However, stopping was not easy. Ten brakes covered with lots of snow do not like to stop as quickly as ten dry brakes. I did not create a problem for myself since I was using good following distance, but still; when you apply the brakes and go for twice the normal distance before anything even begins to slow down, it is not fun.

Read online article in LA paper about truck accident where the trucker came down a hill to fast, could not stop and killed people in the intersection. Today the same paper has an article on the FBI tracking serial killers believed to be truckers. Certainly makes on want to choose where to stop more carefully.

Today is Sunday. Should have stayed in Walcott and attended Truckers Chapel. Did I mention the showers?

Best laid plans

Dropped load in Indianapolis, drove just out of town to a TA, when they called asking if I would go back to where I had been to verify a trailer was at a specific location. I did and went back to the TA. Then they give me load from Chicago to French Camp. So finish my dinner and drive to Chicago. Get there with an hour to spare before my 14 hour clock expires. "Sorry that load will not be ready until Monday." So contact Stevens...and at 1230AM Stevens calls back to inform me they confirmed with Nabisco that the load would not be ready until Monday. So he worked the books and got me a load that delivers on Thursday in Tracy from Champaign,IL. So dead head in the morning then drive. Yeah.

So here I sit on the edge of Chicago. Not the best way to travel the globe.

Troublesome times are here...

The joke is that is the song you select when you are announcing new elders. For me it is a reminder to be will rooted, grounded in faith; while the winds blow around. At 4:11 my time today, the phone rang. "Dad I am getting kicked out of where I am, can I take you up on the offer to ride with you?" I laid out two basic ground rules: no smoking on the truck and no illegal substances on the truck. I am checked by border patrol frequently plus subject to DOT inspection at anytime. For him there are the three goals (Know that God loves you, Know your parents love you, Have a direction in life when you get off the truck); however, there truly is a fourth goal that underlies everything: truth, honesty, bottom line is trust. May I yield to God's wisdom and His grace to remain strongly rooted yet able to bend with the jostling of life. May our prodigal truly come home. Once he is on the truck, I will certainly request the prayers of the prayer warriors. May God use this as a time of healing for the tongue wagers.

Winter is cheaper for me than summer time. It was 100 in Laredo yesterday, it is only 94 right now. I was attempting to sleep for a while since last night was such a mess for sleeping, but I need the truck running to keep the AC on. Usually I would be driving at this time of the day so that would not be so bad, I can sleep with just the windows open and my little fan blowing if it is below 75. But 94? Where is my hammock!

Seguin,TX

I left Hammond,LA early this morning, arriving in Houston,TX early. They unloaded quickly; however, the QC would not work since I was under a roof. I emailed Dallas expecting to be directed to Dallas. No. It is pick up a load of chicken in Seguin,TX to be delivered to Delores,TX which is just outside of Laredo. They are not ready to load my trailer until 9PM so I will not be able to leave until around 4AM. It was supposed to deliver at 5:30 but it ain't goin' to make!

Tonight's menu is Top Ramen with canned asparagus. It tastes better than it sounds!

From cooking gourmet type meals to boiling water to heat top ramen. We are making progress now.

Hulu

On the internet is a method of watching TV, documentaries or old movies called Hulu. Had full bars, 3G in Hammond,LA so I watched Liar, Liar and then a documentary on Mr Warmth. When you only see the stage man, it is hard to imagine him and Bob Newhart as such good friends. They and their wives have traveled the world.

Traveling this morning listened to three sermons on the radio. Also heard the beginning of a church service. It was congregation vs organ. The organ won.

The signs are up indicating Target and other shopping venues; however, basically the only shopping available near I-12 at exit 40, is Dillards and Sears. The others are all still under construction. It was a good walk anyway.

When I arrived, I walked across the road to the Pilot Truck stop because they had an Arby's. While walking I was passed by two drivers coming from the Pilot walking toward their trucks with 12 packs. It was not soda. Petro did not sell beer; however, they have the larger parking space. So park and walk.

I pray that the time at the Dallas yard is quick, so I can be on my way home for at least a day to see Paula, the boys, and especially to see Jean. It has been along time since I have seen her.

Strange day

Last night at 11:38 PM my cell phone rings. It is someone from Dallas calling. They are concerned about a driver they cannot get to answer his QualComm. They are debating about asking me to drive the 23 miles down the road to discover whatever about this driver. We discuss the options; however, Dallas decides to leave it.

The phone rang this morning at 5:42AM. Dallas calling wanting me to check on the driver. At 6AM I leave Crazy Ed's and arrive at Charleston,TN. As I am going up the ramp I observe a Stevens truck going down the ramp to enter the freeway. I search both truck stops and sure enough the truck I saw driving away was the driver they were concerned about. Crazy day.

I am done driving for the day. It is 80 here in Meridian,MS. Clouds are gone. Wish I had a hammock to hang underneath the trailer to enjoy the cool breeze. But I think a better investment will be a cooler and The Wavebox. The wavebox is a portable microwave, which would certainly provide more choices. I just need to not invest in tow trucks!

The driver's from yesterday's news of accidents had 15 & 16 years of experience driving for Stevens. Both having less than 2 seconds following distance in blizzard conditions. One wrecked in WY the other in TX. Pride goeth before a fall is the short version of what else was written on the QC. As opposed to the country music song, "Lord it's hard to be humble when your perfect in every way;" I just look in the mirror and am instantly reminded that I am nothing more than a sinner saved by Grace. May I ever strive to discover how to be useful in His Kingdom.

Niota,TN

I set the alarm this morning, although I did not need to set it. I have until Monday at 2PM to arrive in Houston,TX so I have plenty of time. My 70 hour clock will run low for one day, then I will gain 11 hours on Monday when I need it. So drive through TN to hopefully make it to Meridian, MS tomorrow. It is a short drive (355 miles); however, the weather has possible tornado warnings for the edge of where I will be driving. So I guess it is a day of listening to the radio, especially local stations for warnings. Two "very senior drivers" working for Stevens were involved in accidents in the past two days. Both were driving in blizzards, when they should have simply parked the truck. It did not read like anyone was seriously injured; however, there was extensive property damage. May I ever remain humble without God needing to remind me to be humble.

I am at Crazy Ed's truck stop in Niota,TN. The truck stop portion of the building is run down, almost creepy; however, the restaurant side is very clean. The meal was okay; however, I do not like corn with pearl onions. My taste buds are still protesting! I will probably set the alarm for the morning, but again, actual departure time may vary. I will check the news to make sure where the active part of the storm is in relation to my driving before I depart.

Is it still an accident?

Blah, blah, turn right on Leggett (turn right at the blue bridge.) Unfortunately it was 149th ave not Leggett. The trailer rode up on the abutment of the bridge and lifted the right side of the drive axles off the ground. Needless to say it would not back up and thank the good Lord it would not go forward! (If I went forward about 3 more inches I would have partially topped the trailer) So call 911, call Stevens Road Rescue and wait. The trailer was so high in the air on the right side you could stand under the trailer without bending! NYPD never even asked to see my CDL. No police report was filed, no citation. Another thank the good Lord! The tow truck hooked onto the trailer, lifted it up and it fill to the ground. No damage to the bridge, the truck or the trailer. Back onto the road, drive the short distance to Hunts Point Market. Make my deliveries slightly late; however, I get the privilege of spending the night here at Hunts Point. I have a load out of here p/u NJ heading for Houston,TX. It was about time for me to head to Dallas. Now we will have something to discuss!

A magical 3

Drove 632 miles today, not a record but still very crazy. 1st: Driving down the freeway in my lane being passed by a small box truck. I am aware of the truck; however, my brain sad look at the mirror. As I did he swerved away from hitting my trailer by mere inches. When he passed he was still texting or whatever on his cell phone. 2nd: In PA they have some rest stops also designated as weigh stations. They are usually closed; however, today, they had one open. I drove in and drove out, but there were many trucks pulled over because it was not a weigh test. They were checking paper work and doing drug tests. I was running legal so that was not the issue. The issue for me was time. The lot was full so all of us arriving at that time simply kept driving. 3rd: I arrived at Mifflinville, PA; Love's Travel Center, at 1:15 PM and was parked by 1:17PM. My 11 hour clock expired at 1:15PM.

I am about 130 miles from where I deliver in the Bronx tomorrow. I will leave around midnight since there is parking at Hunt's Point if I arrive early. This will allow me to take it easy once I start crossing the George Washington Bridge.

Change the clock

Because of leaving Denver at 2 AM and the load was ready in Holcomb,KS when I arrived, it has forced me to stay on the after midnight run mode. I left Salina,KS this morning and am now in Clayton,IN. A drive of 625 miles. I need to drive almost that far tomorrow to set myself into position to deliver at Hunts Point in the Bronx. Driving across the Geo. Washington Bridge into NYC area with a 53' trailer sounds like more fun than I should be allowed to have!

Drove KS-156 from Garden City, KS to I-70, two lane road through the farm/heartland of America. Slightly rolling hills, sometimes no trees on the horizon either. A man on the side of the road answering natures call. Some things you don't do into the wind, no trees... I'll leave it there.

I had a weird dream the other night. I normally do not remember dreaming at all in the morning nor are my dreams wild visions if I remember them. This one was an exception. It involved angels, demons and a church.

Above me were demons; however, immediately at my back was an angel. He wielded a sword that the demons at bay, but the angel also had a large bore weapon; however, it had no ammo. As I went to church everyone looked the same: demons overhead with an angel at their back. As the congregation met the demons formed a geodesic dome over the whole congregation. We all worshipped and then left with our demons still following us around. I then realized I was dragging a large case filled with ammo. But the ammo would not fit the weapon my angel was carrying. It was then I realized the ammo I had was for someone else's angel to use, someone else had the ammo I needed for my angel to use. It was a wild dream to get me a simple message: bear ye one another's burdens.

Close one

Drove from Las Vegas to I-80 across WY to Denver,CO on one tank of fuel. I supposed to fuel up again in Wamsutter,WY but I did not have time this morning while driving from Little America,WY to Denver. That tripped started at 3 AM and I made it with 15 minutes to spare to the Safeway warehouse. The bigger part of the close one was the early driving on I-80. I was being passed by two semis going about 70 mph when suddenly you could see the deer on the freeway. They did what they were supposed to which is not slow down, I was further back and hit the brakes. The one deer that was most vulnerable to being hit figured it out at the last second, jumped, turned around and ran across my lane. The truck had hit it "lightly" as you could see tufts of hair floating down in the air. You could see no visible damage to the one deer and the rest of them ran back off the road. Spring is in the air so it is time for migration once again.

Right title, wrong lyrics

Alone again naturally... is the state of trucking tonight. Received a load to Denver,CO that was picking up fruit in the southern central valley. They then changed the first pick to a place at exit 3 on Hwy 99. Off on crazy fun.

Due to illness, my own, I was not able to visit my grandmother, nor were Paula and I able to attend an event on Saturday. I would hope not to repeat that episode of illness anytime soon!

It was wonderful to attend church without thinking of the truck. An extreme added blessing was being taken to lunch to have adult conversation. We even had Charlie in our midst to a nice sit down restaurant. It breaks your heart to think one of your children would choose homelessness over a better life, but that is where he is now.

Jesse saw the Army recruiter on Monday, while I headed to Lodi to spend $120 plus dollars. $34 went to the state of California for a new license since I added HazMat to my license and the other to the TSA and who ever they hire to process my finger prints to obtain the HazMat license. All the expenses keep reoccurring ever time I renew. What a great racket.

I am at exit 39 on Hwy 99, it says Bakersfield, but it is the north end of Bakersfield.

Due to my illness the truck never was cleaned over the weekend and it will not be cleaned tonight either.

Little America

This is an interesting little stop on the highway in Flagstaff,AZ. Little America chain is at two locations on I-80 in WY, but I have never stopped. Tonight we are stopped at Little America in Flagstaff. It is a nice clean place. One that I will certainly attempt to patronize in the future.

I am hoping Jesse will wake up soon. He went to bed a little after we started this morning at 6 AM and it is now almost 8PM my time. I am getting hungry.

Note to self: Do not eat at the Petro in Amarillo,TX! Let us just say I may have made it further than the 571 miles I drove today had it not been for two emergency potty stops.

Reading Randy's blog today, reminds me of the many ads about preventing crime. If you put your stuff in your car, someone breaks in and steals it, it is your fault. How ludicrous! It is so extremely sad that we have gotten to this point in our society. It is the same mentality of the women raped in the Middle East who is then whipped for the crime.

Going Home

We arrived in San Antonio,TX on time, then left late the next morning for delivery in Fort Worth. After that delivery, we were given a pick up in Garland at Kraft heading for Stockton,CA!

It has been very crazy the past few days. Whether it is delivering California beef to Texas or driving like a mad dog to get every where.

The desert is starting to bloom so it will be nice to see that on our drive through CA on 40/15/58.

The wind today was fierce near Amarillo. Very thankful I was not sent up here to pick up a meat load with an empty trailer. I do not think I would have made it all the way.

Embracing God's time for all events is not always easy since sometimes there is the stubbornness, of the person.

I asked Jesse to write about his experiences on the truck, (hopefully the positive ones!), intending to share them with Charlie. I really desire Charlie to understand what being on the truck is all about. I pray Jesse is able to sell it better than I. It is also for my learning.

Test on Monday for HazMat endorsement. Pray for quick passage so I do not need to retake the exam at a later date.

Repeating theme

SoCal to Brawley to TX. Been there, done that, doing it again. Arrived yesterday in Carson,CA from Kingman,AZ. Received a message on the QC wondering if I could make it in time. We arrived almost 2 hours before the delivery time. We were fortunate that we were allowed to drive right in and be unloaded. We are stuck in Ontario,CA for the day and will begin the Brawley to TX trip tomorrow. Should have one more load after that with Jesse in the truck. Of all the things I will miss about him, messing up my bed will not be it!

The desert is green and some plants are in bloom. Hope some more will be in bloom in the travels tomorrow.

How much crow did Paul have to eat as a teenager? I mean he may have been wrong but never in doubt, so I wonder how much crow he had to eat? I have had several platters of it myself, slowly learning that keeping my mouth shut early will prevent platters of unwanted crow later. Sometimes platters are left warming for you for a later date, sometimes served cold with feathers still attached almost as soon as the words left your mouth. For the hard nosed dogmatic, you simply pray the serving will come sooner rather than later so they can learn the lessons that God is teaching.

Buggy whips of the 21st century

We rushed a load that was due at 5:15 AM from Salt Lake City,UT to Cheyenne,WY. They gave me a fuel stop; however, I declined, therefore this trip was pure profit. Which is a good thing! So we are now sitting at the Flying J in Cheyenne. I was in the truck checking the QualComm and noticed the windmills in the distance. These are the super large ones, some of which are imported from Holland. So I was thinking if the world is still running around 100 years from now, those windmills will simply be standing as eyesores if they are still standing.

100 years from now, how many buggy whips will I have passed on? How many of the truths of God will I have passed on? I know, not directly, but in the lives I was allowed to touch.

It is cold outside, so I am working in the truck stop on the computer rather than spend my time in the truck. It is a Clint Eastwood marathon on the TV which is OK; however, the smoking is not good. I asked Jesse to find a church for us to attend today. He looked it up incorrectly, but it didn't matter. There are no churches within walking distance of where we are today.

Ogden,UT

We had a load of Hershey on our back, about 42,000 pounds of chocolate bars. Dropped it at the Hershey warehouse in Ogden. Stopped for fuel in Rawlins, WY. It was so cold it was difficult to perform the simple task of fueling; however, there was one person who was outside with shorts on. My hands hurt just typing in the numbers on the pump island.

Last week was good for pay, this week will be poor. Do I invest $5 in the Lottery?

Hudson before 3

I was estimating the distances when I was entering info on the QC since Jesse had the computer.  So tonight while we are parked in Lincoln,NE I looked at the actual distance left.  Only 480 miles left in the little journey for Kraft.  The load delivers on Wednesday morning, hopefully a load quickly out of the area will be nice.

They want me to have my HazMat endorsement; however, they have not sent me home long enough to take care of this.  I am attempting to force their hand.  I made an appointment with the DMV to take the test and have paid the outrageous sum of $89.25 to be finger printed by the TSA. All so I can haul soap and similar products.  I stated I wanted March 13-16 off.  I have not heard back today, so I put the message on the QC also rather than just an email.  If I do not hear back tomorrow, the messages will become more frequent and to more people.  Maybe someone will finally notice I have not had 34 hour restart at home since October!

God moves in a mysterious way

The course for the day was plotted out, drive from Troy,IL to Aurora,IL; drop the trailer, hook up to another trailer and then drive to Minooka,IL to a truck stop.  I looked into attending church in Minooka.  

Arrived at Aurora and as I rounded the corner to Kraft there is a Christian school right next to the property.  They also have church on Sunday morning.  There were no trailers to pickup when I arrived, so I drove my truck next door and attended church.  The message was like the email Randy sent out "Solitude Exercise."  Okay it was just perchance that the church service started at 10 when I drove onto their property.  It was just perchance that a receiver did not have any empty trailers yet.  It was just perchance...  right!  You may need to duck your heads if this is just perchance, because pigs maybe flying next!

Leave here at 5:45 to drive to Morris,IL to pickup a load going to Aurora,CO.  Let the fun begin.

Heartless *&^%$#@

Remember Beetle Bailey and Sgt Snorkel? Whenever Sgt let loss with "colorful" language the cartoonist used symbols.  The word I was thinking about while the music played while I was on hold at the Steven's yard referred to the legitimacy of their birth.  Anyway, over 135 days since I have been home for 34 hour restart.  They play Glen Campbell singing Wichita Lineman. "And I need you more than want you and I want you for all time.." This was proceeded by Poetry Man which has the line about home is where you go every night to your wife.  Very sadistic to decide to play those songs to men who long to be elsewhere.

Finished loading in Irwindale,CA this morning it only took them 5 hours.  I think my chances of making it to Aurora,IL by noon on Saturday are slim and none.  Maybe I can get the kind hearted people who will not answer the QC or phone to change the time.  Any votes?

I must be growing up.  I haven't shaved for several weeks (it costs money) and my "beard" does not look like I have mange like it has for most of my life.  It is slow growing but filled in much better than previously.