Push play

Will be traveling the midnight shift for the next two nights; my sleep pattern is all messed up. And then there is depression for lack of better terms. Getting the voices in my head to return to silence, or at least no louder than the sound of the cicada buzzing in my head. My iPod quit working so I will need to plug the computer into the aux port on the stereo in the truck. Several hours of positive input, noise to drown out the voices of depressing self talk.

Did it start when before Halloween while on hold with Stevens I was listening to a very bad rendition of Oh Christmas Tree? No it is my brain unable to find a solution to a problem and then sabotaging the whole experience. Have to spend time preparing iTunes.

New,Old artist

I discovered Michael Bublé (had to paste name to get the ' over the e) of course I am very late to the discovery! Enjoyed the music of Haven't met you yet; however, after I read wiki article, a greater appreciation for his heart was in the two songs Home and Lost. Home written while away from his love on tour in Europe. Lost written when they broke up after many years together. Both are enjoyable for different reasons.

Why do some of us find it so easy to be alone? We have the social grace of a bull in a china shop. Some of us have adult ADD so we work hard to understand how to play the game of life, but we flub up again and again. Dave Ramsey answers the question, "How you doing" with "Better than I deserve." I know I am doing better than I deserve. But it doesn't help answer the questions of life that linger in my mind. God placed me on the earth so in November 2009 the people in Cheshire,CT can have grapes and broccoli? Right!

Getting my eyes off of me and more on Him would be a great place to start answering the why am I here.

"Welcome" to Livermore

The welcome mat is rolled up for trucks in Livermore,CA. They have several businesses that utilize large trucks; however, they do not want you to park over night. Several acres along the freeway are open that would make a great truck stop to make a run to the bay area; however, this is California so NO!

Went to church, walked the mile to Discovery Church,Church of Christ was 3 miles. Minister could have delivered message to Central. Church has been in area since 1953; however, it is dying. People were very friendly, out going; however, they are shrinking. His message was pleading with the sheep, not beating the sheep.

Do I get to see Paula? Go from here to San Jose, then Merced and then...?

Marshall Dillon

Returned to Dodge City for a load of beef. Simply followed instructions to show up in Dodge City, I had to phone Stevens to verify that I was supposed to drop the trailer at National Beef. What a silly use of man power. A grad student just came up to the truck asking about what he was supposed to do. He was given a load from National with a DLD of 10/30, which means he will be stuck here until then. I pray they have not done the same to me since I have not been given a load assignment yet.

Chicken Soup had an article about a lost dog, but really it is about lost people. It is a well written story. Hope the link will work.

Finished reading a book last night, that normally I would read in an hour or two; however, it took several weeks. I loved the message; however, the delivery was fingernails on a chalk board. Now I will need to apply the message. I will need to stomach the book to devour the pearls that are within each chapter. Personally I feel someone has unstrung pearls into a pig pen and it is my job to find them all. Fortunately for me, I worked at a wastewater treatment plant, I have looked for the pearls in less than ideal circumstances before.

Mega church?

Randy discussed the mega church in his blog. A song came to mind: More like you, Jesus more like you... The churches I grew up in, the extreme legalism I was fed, were more Pharisee and Sadducee than Jesus. As I age, I realize the discovery of the Jesus I never knew.

I stated in a written "blog" in the church bulletin, that maybe we needed to dynamite the sign out in front of the building and call it the The Church on Sutter or maybe Church by the River. Are our traditions, now carved in stone, holding others away? Maybe; however, I still feel that Central needs to repent of hurts caused in the past to move to a better future. Knowing our hidden talents is a useful tool. Coming together as one, united in purpose, requires commitment to give an honest look at how we got to where we are now. With so many dead fish in the basket it is beginning to smell bad.

Mr Dunn

In an article of the NY Times about Mr Dunn, a former defense lawyer in death penalty cases, who is now a middle school teacher I saw a great quote: "He quotes Frederick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” I worked the prison system for 12.5 years. I regret that I did not know that quote previously, but I can soundly give it an amen.

Several classrooms had money stolen, so naturally reputation implies the Elston boys. Paula carries the keys on her, she locks every door when not present, etc. but their reputation precedes them. It grieves her to think that maybe one of our children would figure out how to break into so many classrooms and steal the money. She is strongly praying whoever is guilty will be discovered, even if it is one of ours.

Qualcomm acting up on the truck inconsistently; however, I called Road Break down to inform them of the problem. I will be taking the truck to Houston Communication in the morning after my first drop for quick repairs hopefully, since I need to be 51.6 miles on the other side of Houston before 3.

Arrested Development

My trainee jumped ship when we arrived in West Memphis,AR. Life has been stacked against him and he has chosen to remain under the pile. He is a safe driver; however, his heart was not into the many other challenges that come with driving a truck (mainly the time away from family), so he quit. I set my alarm this morning for 5:30 to take a shower, he was already up. I asked if he was going to shower he stated no. When I got back to the truck he informed me of his decision. I spent 1:45 attempting to get him to see a different picture on life. Not to persuade him to be a trucker, but attempting to have him see himself in a different light. But the Mississippi River called him back to his home state.

Jesse challenged Paula and discovered life outside of the minivan. He tried to call my sister to rescue him, but she declined when she discovered why he was where he was. He came back to the building later; however, he still does not know how to surrender to God. I told him to find the song "All to Jesus I Surrender" and read it carefully. Maybe it will give him some insight. Lay face down on the ground and weep for your choices is a good place to start sometimes.